Summer 2020 Writings
8/4
You know when you feel you’re approaching a new phase in your universe? Does anyone else feel that way?
The brink is bright and clear. It’s hard and cool, steep and a vantage point.
You think what you’ve been doing is right, then you see the other side — the bigger, broader stretch of space. A you that knows a few more secrets to that ultimate (happiness).
So you tell your friends, you act on the voices that call. You refresh the plan and you bask. Bask in the lessons because you can now use that beauty and teach, listen, enjoy.
My love runs deeper than the woods of hidden galaxies. My blood pumps stronger than a carnal chase against gravity.
It is times like these when I believe in a higher power, within me and even in our contaminated air. The bad and the oppressed both cry out in the night — waiting for those times. Your time.
8/18
I had a good cry this morning. It was one of those cries where it all comes out because it’s needed. And it felt uncomfortable and raw at the time, but my body and my mind just had to call out. To me, to the trees leading to the field, to the nearly radioactive-looking green grass that luckily soaked in last night’s rain.
I felt the feelings mixing, reshaping, pulling apart, and bouncing back. What a whirlwind to experience first thing in the day! But this new day was clapping its hands and serving the frankness needed to gulp down worrisome realities, but moreso, false fears.
What’s so scary about trekking on rocks, anyway? The ridges can feel each other out and learn how to successfully cross paths.
Sometimes I hold my palms together and ground my weight into my feet to halt time. Eyes closed is a bit harder, more wobbly but still, centered.
That’s what was needed: to release everything that’s circulating in and around back out to the next realm of reality. And it’s a true place that you can enter without question.
8/18
I jumped right in from the tip of the pier — a classic subdued cannon ball today holding the nose — then glided straight to the first dock. With one swoop of a dripping arm, the short climb was a swift breeze. Bare tanned toes on the wooden surface and a moment to sniff the wind. Okay, time to glide again, then float on my back and chase the clouds with my eyeballs. Let’s show off with a pretty dive now. I think an egret across the way gave it a wink. I inched in that direction, each movement like that of a synchronized swimmer. Flip back to the belly and submerge head first, legs poking out of the pond like celery in a Bloody Mary. The viscosity of it all was much thinner though, like air. Light, temporarily weightless, as I skimmed and splashed through the pre-sunset portal. Approaching the docks again with grand-finale strong, fast strokes and deep breaths. And then, following a guppy girl, I hoisted back up again. Adjusted my suit and soaked face. Ah, a treat that deserves a big satisfied sigh. An afternoon that felt good.
